Really you have 6 kids?

I always love when people ask "how many kids do you have?"  My response varies but normally is something like "6 kids right now."  And normally their faces drop!  Right now?   Which normally allows me the opportunity to share our story of fostering and adopting.
For the last week we have been a family of 8. We are doing respite care for a 3 & 2 year old.   While it takes a little bit of logistics to get things together these two little kids fit right on in.  My kids adjust well to having new kids in and out.  I am very proud of them and how well they do and how much they step up.  I feel that we are teaching them about serving others and caring for theses that need a safe home while their family figure things out.  And like respite care, we are helping other foster parents.
Somethings that we had to do to get ready. We switched the crib and the toddler bed putting the crib in the boys room and the toddler bed in the girls room.  While their suit case just ended up in the boys room, I found a crate to put their dirty clothes in.  I have different plastic bins with different age toys in them.   So we got out two bins- funny thing is the older kids have fun playing with them too!  Other than putting car seats in the care, we were ready to go.  Because I want to try to keep kids schedules as stable as can be, LeAnn went to her mommy day out.  But it made my afternoon schedule a little crazy, cause I had pick up at 12:30, 1:30, and 2:30 pm.
My favorite part of this respite care was when we went to the Chinese Buffet with 8 kids (we two visiting that day) and yes we were that family whom all our kids were well believed and listened and I was very proud of them!

Milk

For a week we are doing respite care for two little ones.  A humorous adorable little 3 year girl, who asked if I was potty trained and a snugglable little boy who has just turned two.  We have taken care of them before last year for a few days.  When they were dropped off by their foster parents we were given a gallon of milk from Wal-Mart.  When you have little ones in foster care you get Wic to help with some food.  So the gallon of milk came in and was put into the refrigerator.  Not a thought about it.



Robby asked the next day "What is this?" (note he was the one who put it into the refrigerator for me).  "Milk," I said.

 "Are you sure I can drink this?" Robby inquired.

"I'm sure"  He stands there for a moment.

"What's wrong Robby?"

"I'm not sure about the milk?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It looks different."  Robby said.

I looked at the gallon- "It is the same kind of milk-2% milk we drink-just the packaging is different."





Who knew the just the color and the way the label looks affects kids.  The milk we get from Costco also looks a lot like the Krogers milk with the dark blue label so it never really affects the kids.  But for some kids it does!  I had to let him know every time he used it yesterday that this milk was the same as the other milk.  I can't imagine what would happen if I changed the % of the milk!  Different color caps!

A Boxer?

Today we took Sophie to the vet.  She is 13 weeks old and weighs 20 lbs already!  She is going to be big.  All checked out great!  The vet thinks she is mix Lab and boxer.  We had guessed lab, but was being told maybe some German Shepherd in her.  But he doesn't see the German Shepherd.  So I came home and research Lab and Boxers....who some call Boxadors.  Cute and funny!  From what I have seen and read this is a amazing family dog and most people were very happy with theirs!  Since we also do foster care I wanted to make sure we have a good dog to handle kids that may come in and out.  And it seems we may be gotten her! She plays well with all of them!  For as much as I resisted getting a dog, glad we have Sophie!

Just one of the kids!

A time for goodbyes, a time for hello's

I just finished up with my last morning of getting four kids ready for school.  While most of the time the kids did ok, I always had to work with Michael, getting him to stay on task, having him sit still to eat, keeping him out of coloring his face, and getting him out the door with out anything major happening.  And never knowing who was going to melt down, and it changed every day who that was going to be.  And after about an hour of noise, chatter, fighting, spoons clanging, they would leave with Dan to go to school and a silence would over come my house.  Now don't get me wrong, I have two at home who create enough noise of their own, but there was just a silence that came.  And I would go about my daily things, knowing that the "noise and craziness" would soon come back for the evening.

Now almost 12 hours after that silence waved over my morning, my day is finally wrapping up up with four kids, not the six that I awoke with.  We moved our two foster boys back home.  This is a milestone in our lives, two more little lives have touched our family and we are better for it.  But it was time for them to go home, it doesn't happen often.  Most of the time our foster kids end up with relatives, but today they went home to mom and dad!  My heart hurts to lose these guys.  They just became such a fixture in the house.  And at the same time, I am going to enjoy the calmness that will come with out the constant need to watch over the little one. 

As of now, Michael and Brandle are getting settled into their mom and dad's places and saying hello to the things that were once familiar to them.  I continue to pray that mom and dad do well and the family bonds together as they get use to each other everyday again! 

This comes with the territory of foster care-the hellos and goodbyes.  We get kids whose families need to work out things, can't care for them, or have problems beyond what we can comprehend.  Some kids go home, others live with relatives, and some stay.  Foster children leaving is hard.  They say to treat your foster kids like your own, but in reality, you don't give up your kids.  In foster care, you go in knowing these are your kids, but you get them for a short time.   It is just the way that it goes.  After they leave it is always ask, will you do it again?  Not tomorrow.   Maybe next week.  Who knows?  I do know I want a small one, like a newborn.  In for a change.  We do know right now we will not take in older ones again the same age as our kids.  It was like having triplets and twins.
But for now we trust that God has a plan for our family and we feel it is a big one coming up.  Many things are changing....so who knows whats next!

Time to Move Home

After a long ISP meeting , a date was finally set for my two foster boys to move home. In 4 days I pack my boys up. And while I am looking forward to a slightly calmer house, these two boys have dug a corner in my heart and it makes me sad they are leaving. And all at the same time I love that fact that there may be a successful reunification. It doesn't happen often.

I haven't told the kids yet. I will tomorrow night. We have had Brandle (10) for a little over six months a Michael(5) for a little over four months. And our road with Michael hasn't been easy, far from it, but we were getting better each day. And I trust that he will continue to make strides back at his home.
For right now Michael is cuddle next to me sleeping and I am going to sneak in one more sweet hug before there are non.




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Family T-shirt idea

So I've had this crazy idea about making us family T-shirts. While I still haven't done the ones I have in mind I wanted matching T-shirts for the kids while on vacation. So I got some red t-shirts on clearance for a $1 and got two little ones and a pink one at Hobby Lobby. Was thinking I could do a printed Iron on I found these embroidered letters. When I got home I thought I need a little more, so I pulled out stencils, and fabric crayons and markers. With a little trail and error this is what I came up with.




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I have two foster boys so I stenciled their last name first letter.









AnnieQ's was my trail and error shirt. Fabric crayons did not work, markers did.









Yes I didn't want him to feel left out!




Together enough, but slightly different. That's us...too bad I didn't make mommy and daddy shirts:) (ps sorry some pictures are not so good!)




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Grounded

I have 6 kids in my house, from 4-17.   And with each child comes a unique discipline plan.  Some of them are easy going, and don't get into trouble too much.  Others are in trouble daily,  and other seems to bring it on in heaps at a time.  One thing is for sure, there area consequences of actions in our house.  If you break a rule, there are consequences.

Our 4 year old little boy is testing boundaries right now.  He has a little bit of an anger issue going on when he gets caught.  So we had to get really strict right now with him.  He only gets one warning.  When things calm down we will slowly release the reins.  We do spank Isaiah because he responds to that.  

Our 5 year old little girl has gotten her first grounding.  She gets time outs, and when her "fun bubble" is bursted she has huge melt downs,  I just put her in her room and let her scream, and scream...and scream!:)

Our 9 year old boy has "attitudes" that need a "time out" to calm down.  Most of the time he is really good, but every now and then he just needs a time to reflect.

Our 17 year son losses privileges.  Most of the time he doesn't even understand why, but this is normal for teenagers.  Communication is a big thing, he will lose cell phone usage, computer usage, and other things.  With him it is always hard to define what grounding is for what because he always seems to group getting into trouble all at once.  

Each of our foster boys we deal with in basic discipline, re guiding. 

For the younger kids we use time outs, a minute pre year.  

Some days this gets exhausting.  It seems I correct and guide more than I do other things.  But over all, I feel good about taking my kids out.  Most of the time they behave well.  My favorite time is when they tell me I am grounded. And I think "YES"!  I am going to my room and chill!  But never does my groundings last long!

Update on Fostering...

As some of you know, we have two little foster boys, 9 and 4.  They are brothers, from a sibling group of 5.  We have had Brandle for over two months now.  Michael just moved in last week unexpected then.  So far the transition with Michael has been good.  The kids play well together.  Well we do have spats now and then but what siblings don't!
 Having them has helped my kids grow a little too.  When Brandle moved in Robby and Isaiah were sleeping together.  While I was fine with it, Robby was not sleeping well cause Isaiah was hogging the bed and waking him up early.  We had bunk beds and Robby didn't want anything to do with the top bunk.  But when I told them Brandle was coming, they moved to their other beds with no problems.  Now since Michael has come, Isaiah has gotten a little bit better about staying in his bed.  I had heard Michael had issues with going to bed and staying in bed in the middle of the night.  So I knew I had to go in strong with a bed time rhythm.   On day four and so far we are good.  Michael is going to sleep in his bed and Isaiah is staying in his bed for the most part after we put him there.  AnnieQ has gotten other privileges since she is about 6 months older than the boys and the only girl in the bunch!  She is sharing the room with Michael and loving it.
While having now 6 kids comes with more laundry and making more food it hasn't been over whelming.  It is like a puzzle to see with system will work.
For example...getting 8 people out of the house on a Sunday...key put out clothes the night before.  This helps the flow of everything in the morning.  Now if I was more organized I would have the shoes laid out too, but instead I am messing around on the computer:)  
So we will get through the weekend and see how things go!
Happy 4th of July!

Disasters and Kids

This last week has set many of our local children in memories that most kids just read about.   But many of our kids have lost their homes, roofs, trees, and some family.  Kids handle this lost, this grief differently.
When we have storm warnings, the younger kids ask "What if our toys get blown away?"  "We can replace toys, we can't replace you, so our job is to keep you safe"  After the storms last Wednesday, we lost the big tree in our back yard.  This was the tree that Robby and my kids have grown up with.  It wasn't one of the back row trees just blocking the view of our neighbors.  This was the one that when Robby was 4 the branches hung to the ground and they made forts our of them, the tree he tried climbing, the tree where he found an Indiana arrow head.  To him this tree was special.  His response was he cried when he saw it, just sobbed.  The two younger ones didn't understand, but Isaiah just put his hand on his back and rub it.  Jeremy, being a teen, said to just get over it.
As we walked around the neighborhood, Robby said this was the worse day ever.  I said this was a good day compared to others.  Robby and Jeremy went with Dan to Athens, the saw part of the path of the tornado, Robby came home and said we were lucky to have our house.
The three younger ones wanted to know about tornados and how they worked.  Robby has an idea, but I happened to have three weather workbooks from one of the local TV stations we picked up from kids days somewhere.  Just right for the moment.  (homeschooling mom's mind, hands on learn:))
My oldest acts like this was all no big deal.  But having 7 days of no power, I am sure brought back some memories of his past with no power cause mom had no money to pay the bill.  But he has a strong desire to help.  He wanted to get the tree down as soon as possible.  While we have tried to find a spot for him to volunteer more, somehow that always fell threw....but there is many opportunities coming up...

But one thing is for sure, my kids want to help, and I love their servant hearts.

So some resources to help kids.

http://www.ldr.org/care/children.html
http://www.fema.gov/kids/dizkid1.htm
Coloring book "After the Tornado"
Fema and Redcross Coloring book
http://www.aap.org/disasters/index.cfm
Red Cross
Many Links to other resources

Resources for teens
Tips for Helping Adolescents
Teens Coping
talking-to-teens-about-natural-disasters

Our next steps,  making sure the kids know we are prepared.  We will collect our flashlights again and make sure they work.  Make sure that they know we have a plan and all is fine.  Restock the little bathroom again, make sure our weather radio still works, (it didn't work this last time)  Making sure we have our radios in a good place.  As a foster home we need to also have this ready again.  It's been awhile since we had it posted.  So it is time to have them ready and posted again.
Share any more resources you may have!

I Saw Leila...

Leila was our last foster baby.  We had her move in when she was 3 months old.  Her situation was different than all the other foster babies.  She was in custody of grandma who also has Leila's older brother who is 3 now.  Grandma taught full time and was trying hard to keep the babies out of the foster care.  Some how we found each other and it was agree upon by us, grandma and DHR that we could do a private type of foster care/respite care for grandma.  Leila was very loved and our arrangement worked well.    She attended the daycare as her brother so her grandma would stop in and see her.
We loved having her in our family!!  And while we knew she was only with us temporary, I think we would have scoped her up as ours in a heart beat.  But it was a blessing that her grandma was involved!  She only wants to do best for her grandkids and help her daughter out as much as she can.  The future is still unknown for their grand babies, but the kids Lawyer or GAL said that the Leila was being bounced around too much and had to only stay with grandma so grandma can prove she can take care of them both. So when we dropped Leila off with grandma before Hawaii none of us knew that was going to be the last time we had her.  Grandma didn't want to leave it though as she never sees us and we don't see her.
So last Thursday she was home with too babies with little colds and had to do some running around and came by to get some of Leila's things and we got to visit for a while.  We didn't take her out of her car seat just because it is such a struggle to get her back and she was tired.  But we talked and Robby got her laughing and she held my hand and we played peek a boo!  I so wanted to hold her and hug her!  But an other time grandma will drop her off for a visit.  The we can catch up on hugs!
We don't know their future, but it is nice to still be able to see our foster babies grow up a little.  And it is good to see them back with their family.  We do foster care to help families figure things out.  It is always easy to think "these kids are much better with us" and "we can provide them with more." Most of these parents love their kids...they just have things in their lives that enable them not to function the way most moms or dads function.   Most of them need help raising their babies.  And that is not a bad thing, having family help raise your children.  In fact it is not a new idea, but one from times ago.
We also know that it doesn't work out.  Some mom's or dad's just can't seem to get it together enough to care for their kids.  And then that's when other forever families can step in and help.
We don't know what will happen with Leila, but she sure does have a grandma who loves her and will do whats best for her.  And if they go back to mom, then she will do her best to support her daughter.

Babies and Books

On Thursday we got two little babies to do respite care!  They are sweet lovable little babies!  The little girl-J- was about 14 months and just the sweetest  little thing!  She fell in love with Robby and was his Shadow!  N was about 3 months old and just wanted to be held.  Our four days seemed to go quickly and we enjoyed having babies again.  Robby always has a hard time when our foster babies and kids leave.  He has such a big heart and it breaks when they leave.  I ask him, do you want us to stop and he say NO!  He likes helping these kids, but he is sad when they leave.  This time was a little harder cause J was so attached to him!
For anyone that knows me I am a bookoholic.   I love them, all kinds.  Some of my favorite authors in fiction stories are Frank Pretti, John Grisham and Ted Dekker.  Each one engages me in different ways.  I am bad about reading because when I read, I read and read and read.  Everything around me goes away and I am sucked into what every story it is.  So the weekend I have a 3 month old, who you know will wake up at least once, I read Immanuel's Veins by Ted Dekker.
This book at first intrigued by, but didn't suck me in.  I could put it down.  A few chapters in though....I started reading again Friday after the kids went to bed.  And soon, it was 12, then 1.  Through this Isaiah woke up, then Robby woke up.  My 16 year old kept coming into the room, telling me to stop reading.  My mind was transformed as I wondered what was next, guess who was going to do what and trying to envision what Toma looked like!  Finally by 3 I feel asleep, with Robby in bed with me and Dan still working on finances.  It was a weird night for us all.  I woke up and finished reading the last chapters. Needless to say we all were dragging the next day.
We made it through respite care, mommy reading a book, lack of sleep, babies, kids and now the kids are asking when is the next baby coming!  Maybe not a baby, but I am sure we will be doing Respite care again soon!

Getting ready for respite care...

Well today we are going to get two little babies to care for the weekend.   I have known for a week we were going to get them and I have gotten everything in place, except the portable crib...still needs to go up!
So for a few days we will have a baby fix, or babies fix.  The little girl is 14 months old and the baby boy, her brother, is 3 months old.  
I have talked to the foster mom a lot, who also has custody of her nieces 2 1/2 year old twins boys.  Pretty amazing family!!  While they are on a vacation that was planned before these two little guys came, they can rest assure that these babies are well loved and taken care of!!!!

Adoption, Foster care and Attachment

I have friends who have decided to take a leap of faith and adopt out of our foster care system.  What a wonderful decisions, and a scary one too.  Knowing that we have fostered and adopted they asked a few questions looking for advice.  Instead of just emailing her I decided to blog so others could read.  One question was what does she need to know about adopting?  They are looking at a boy preschool age and also asked what books to read.
I have been thinking about this...what is the most important think to first learn about.   I decided it was attachment.  When Robby was born I already had 9 months to bond with him, then he was born and I have to attach again in different ways.  I did all the things I felt were right, regardless of what "society" told us.  Robby was breastfeed, slept with us, I carried him in a sling (oh I loved that sling), he was with us 99% of the time.   And when he was not, with me he was next door at the day care while I worked.   I was working of my masters degree and was studying what was important in parenting.  I learned that by instinct we were practicing Attachment Parenting.     As Robby grew we held him, loved him and took care of him all the time.  He soon moved out of our bed and unlike what some people said he grew up to be a stable normal little boy.  He does things independently of me and while he does take some pushing (I blame the male trait on that one) he loves lots of things.
I think of when Isaiah came to us at 4 months.  He was a very big baby, with no neck.  He had a terrible yeast infection in his neck cause it was moist and dark.  He was stiff and cried a lot.  But he was cute!!  And we started holding him.  And caring for him. I help him in the sling a lot.  Many nights I would be sleeping in a chair in the living room with him.  And after a few months we saw improvements.  We forget now all the things we did at the beginning, but he is a normal typical little boy now.
Each of our kids old or young, we work on attachment...and it is different for each one.  When you adopt any child, you adopt their history good or bad.  Children that have been neglected are hard to attach to or have had so many attachment broken they have issue that are even worse.  Attachment disorders can be hard to cope with when these children come into your house, so being educated will give you a step up.
So the first step I would advise is learning about attachment and young children.  Read as many books as you can.  Find out about attachment parenting and any other organization that talks about attachment.  I also like Dr. Sears.  

Our DHR visit...

When you are a foster parent you have to go through two yearly visits.  Our summer one, like the one I got through today, is for re-certifcation.  Lots for forms to fill out, medical exams, and financial information.  Our social worker is very sweet and together and to the point.  We have been blessed to have such a great worker.
While there is the stress that my house has to be perfect...I have finally come to the fact, that our house is live in and children are a main focus in our house, and not everything is going to be perfect.  I try to get the most important things, know what rooms she is going to look in and what rooms she is not going to look in.  Normally she wants to see the fire extinguisher, and then peeks at the kids rooms.
And after a short visit of chit chatting, she is on her way.  Our other mid year visit is normally shorter!
Our goal this year...respite care and emergency care.

So here is what's going on....

I realized I haven't blogged in a week or so.  Things are a little crazy here.  So here is what's going on...
1.  Dan and I had a wonderful vacation in Hawaii.  It was truly wonderful, but I am a sucker for the ocean and palm tree...or coconut trees.  And time with just Dan was needed.  With our crazy schedules it is good to find time alone to come together and reconnect.  But now we are back into full force with life here.
2.  Leila, our sweet foster baby girl, is making the transition to being with Grandma full time.  This we knew this was coming hopefully sooner than later and we are happy that grandma has finally made this leap of faith with her.  We will still have her a few days here and there, but it was time for that transition.  But even though you know it is coming, it is still hard and my heart hurts a little.  I miss her smile and laugh and her sweet curls.  And what I have learned from foster care is it is ok to feel that way.  Grieving is part of life and when you invest so much of your life into a little life, it is hard.   Working through it is healthy and makes you grow a little bit more.
3. We are starting home school in a week a half.  Because I have been so busy this summer I didn't get last year put away nor did I get a lot of planning done.  So this week I have been on full force to get my planning done.  I am hoping to blog about our homeschooling days on my other blog.  Hoping is the key!!
I stumbled upon a blog called homeschoolcreations.  It was great because it took many of my ideas I was trying to use and made them work.  I had read about workboxes last year and thought I need to use this system but not like it was laid out, adapted.  I started reading the way this family home-schools and a light bulb went on.  I have been working hard trying to get this all into place.  As I get more into place I will blog about it on my homeschooling blog.  I also have been organizing my homeschooling area. And since I have an extra student at home that brings me to 4.
4.  Due to certain circumstance which I don't want to blog about, as of yesterday we have withdrawn our 10th grader from Sparkman High to do home school.  While this was not in my plan (of course nothing is in my plan) it has thrown some new planning techniques into play.  I spent  a bit of time researching best options, curriculum and items needed.  Now I have to wait for things to get in so I can plan and organize them.  In the mean time, he is antsy. (Robby is antsy too!) So my goal is to find some things for him to keep him self occupied.
5.  Of course Dan is traveling again, which means we move back into the routine of him here and not and here and not.
6.  And as always the house doesn't clean it self and I need to get things rocking and rolling here.  It is time to get back into a schedule of cleaning for everyone, and since everyone is home all the time it is a constant event.  One day I will get that under control....ummm maybe when the kids leave!:)


Well just a little of what's is going on.  So for now I keep moving a long!!  Pray for me as our journey continues!!!!

When baby is sick...

When baby's are sick everything stops.  Things that you thought you would get done have to go on hold because the baby just needs to be held!  And it is even harder when you are trying to get your house ready for good friends to move in for the week so you can go off alone with your husband to Hawaii!   So you have to balance and decided what really needs to get done and what can just wait!!  

I found most of my days this week sitting the chair with a little baby just sitting with me her head on my shoulder.  When I would put her down she would just cry and cry.  Sometimes she would fall asleep, but yet would know that I moved.  

This morning she woke up with 104.3 so I knew it was Dr. time.  After a few test she has a virus that just needs to run its course.  While I am not thrilled she is sick I feel better that it is not really bad and she will be fine with Grandma this coming week!!  

Oh I wish I could post a cute little picture, but foster care rules are you can't post pictures of them.  

Summer with Leila

One of the unique situations with Leila our 16 month old foster baby girl is her Grandma is very active in her life.  Because she teaches school she is busier that normal doing the school year, but doing the summer she is not as busy.  While we still don't know the outcome of Leila's future in terms of her parents, she is still a part of our family.  Grandma's goal is to take her as much as she can this summer, without her feeling  confused.  I believe that right now we have created a balance for her that is working.  Grandma has taken her most this summer especially while we travel.  And while some emergency's has cut some of her visits short, Leila is happily going back and forth.  For us it is very ideal, because when we need someone to take her, we know she is going to her second home away from ours.  It makes traveling with out her very easy in terms of worrying about her being some where strange.
I don't know how long Leila will be here with us, that is part of foster care, the unknown.  But she is loved by many and she is one blessed little girl!!

The Dirt on Fostering Babies

When it comes to adoption, everyone wants a baby.  A new baby, with little to no history.  A clean start.  People wait a long time for babies.
When fostering, babies are great, sweet and cute, but they come with a price.    Many people foster babies in hopes of adopting.  But there are many things people fail to understand about fostering babies.  Leila is our forth foster baby.  (under 2)

• When fostering any child, they are not yours.  They tell you to treat your foster children like your own, but in all reality that is not so.  
• Babies are easy to get attached to.  Really that is the gift you give them, but it will cost you when they leave.  This I am going to leave to a future post.
• Babies don't sleep.  When you are pregnant, you have nine months to get ready to not sleep.  Your body gets you ready.  When you foster, you are lucky if you have days to get ready.  
• Babies stink and leak!  Yes come one we all know this.  Weird things come from all holes of their bodies.  This is why God made them little and cute!!  All my little ones spit up bad the first part of their lives, it was not uncommon we were changed a few times a day.  And lets not even talk about what comes from their bottom!!!!!!
• Babies need to be feed.  Many times a day when they are little.  You have to wash bottles, make bottles, warm bottles, feed them their bottles, and it starts all over!!!
• Babies need mushy foods...need I say more.
• Babies need to be changed.  You have to remember to buy diapers, wipes (which come out of your pocket)
• Babies do a lot of changing in their first few years of life.  So there are a lot of different items needed. Their clothing is always getting small of them and you go through at least 3-4 sizes in just the first year.
• Babies have a background, a history.  
• Some times they can leave faster than they came.
• Did I mention that foster babies are not yours.  This is the key.  When fostering our goal as foster parents to work with DHR to reunite the families.  I believe  there are some foster families who that their goal is to keep the baby.  Until the courts say so, there is nothing a foster family can do except look out for the best interest of that baby.  While our foster babies are still a part of our family, they are not ours, well except Isaiah now cause we adopted him.
• Your foster baby is shared.  Social workers, transporters, visits with mom and dad and other relatives.  
• Yes babies don't sleep.  Did I mention this.  As I type I have a 14 month old who does not want to sleep-she has had many bad nights in row.   Hopefully she will finally close her eyes, I can finish this post and goto bed.

It is hard when you invest so much of your love, and energy into a baby.  I have had some foster parents tell me that is just not for them.  Foster babies is not for everyone.  Babies will come and go.  Heart will be broken.  So why foster them?

To make a difference.  To hold them and love them.  To nurture them.  To give them a strong beginning of life.  While I can not treat them just like my biological child, come pretty darn close.  Our biological child, Robby, was breast feed for the first 17 months of his life.  He also slept in bed with us.  Our foster babies don't get breast feed, but we try to make feeding time special.  And they sleep in our room the first year, then due to DHR rules we have to move them out.  Our babies get carried in a sling as much as possible.

To make a difference in a tiny life.  That is why I like to foster babies.  Please don't get me wrong, I like the older ages to, but babies have my heart.  

Their smile, first time rolling over.  Sitting up and then those first few steps.  The babbling and then words!  How could they not take your heart away?

But just remember.....babies grow up to toddlers and preschoolers...and those are hard years!!!!

Kids, Nails and Sweet Words

KIDS

This weekend we did our first respite care  for a 3 year old and a 2 month old.  We were asked Wednesday for respite for Friday-Sunday.  Then on Thursday we were asked if they could come that day.  Slightly rushed, but worked out well.  Things I like about respite:

• Children come with all their things needed for the stay.  Foster parents are good about packing everything.  So there is no need to set a child up.
• Short time period, normally we know the beginning and end.
• Our kids get playmates for the stay.
• Get a baby fix then get to sleep again.  (of course right now Leila is waking up at least once a night-but tiny babies wake up a lot)
• You have connect with another foster family you may have not know before.

Bad things:

• Our car only fits so many
• you do have to say good bye
• Our kids have to learn how to say hello and goodbye faster

NAILS

My four year old bites her nails.  Now I know that most little kids bit her nails.  But her biting of her nails comes from more.  She suffers from a condition called Trichotillomania-which is pulling hair.  Last year when she came to use she pulled and ate half the hair on her head.  We were able to solve that through a variety of techniques.   Such as mittens on her hands, and hats on her head.  And things to keep her hands busy and just reminder her all the time.  Now her hair is finally growing back.  Pulling her hair was a reaction to stressful events in her family.  This was extreme.  

Her nail biting is her nervousness about things and when she gets into trouble.  This summer I am going to try to stop this habit.  We have bought pretty nail things, and we talk about it, just before her time out is done, because that is where you will find her biting her nails.  Other times she does it just sitting watching TV.  So right now we are just making her aware of her nail biting.  So I will keep you update on how she is doing.

SWEET WORDS

Seems that in our house some not so nice words are coming out of little children's mouth.   We tried time outs, soap in mouth, spankings and other discipline idea.  None of these things had an impact.  But we found out that not getting candy or sweet things has a HUGE impact.  So now mouths that say sweet things get sweet things and mouths that say bitter things get nothing.  So far this is the first day Isaiah (3) didn't say anything mean or ugly.  And he got sweet things today.  But it took about 2 weeks to get here.  So lets see how tomorrow goes.

Foster Care Adoption Quick Facts from Dave Thomas

I was on Dave Thomas web page http://www.davethomasfoundation.org and found these quick facts on foster care adoption...

Foster Care Quick Facts:

• Foster care adoption is the adoption of a child from the U.S. foster care system who is legally available for adoption and whose birthparents’ rights have been terminated.

• There are an estimated 513,000 children in foster care in the United States, and more than114,000 of them are eligible and waiting to be adopted.

• Of the 114,000 children waiting for adoption, 36 percent are Black Non-Hispanic, 40 percent are White Non-Hispanic, 15 percent are Hispanic, 2 percent are American Indian/Alaskan Native, 4 percent two or more Races Non-Hispanic and 3 percent unable to determine.

• The average child waits for an adoptive family for more than 3 years.

• 21 percent spend 5 years or more waiting for a family (24,395 children).

• The average age of children waiting for an adoptive family is 8 1/2.

• Each year about 18 percent of the foster care population is adopted from foster care (51,000 children).

• 24,407 children reach the age of 18 without ever finding a forever family (9 percent).

• Of the families who adopt children from foster care, 68 percent are married couples, 27 percent are single females, 3 percent are single males, and 2 percent are unmarried couples.