Why do they lie?

I had noticed that syrup bottle was under the dinning room table, open with chocolate over the floor.  "Isaiah!" I yelled sounding like Dave from Alvan and the Chipmunks.
A few minutes later Isaiah walks in.  "What mommy?"
Me-pointing to the bottle on the floor "did you do this?"
"No." Isaiah replied so quickly.
Me-trying not to laugh and hold my ground as a stern mom "Isaiah, did you open one of the new bottles of chocolate  syrup?"
 "No, I don't know who did it."

Now I have to stop here and tell you that not only did he have chocolate syrup all over his face, it was on his shirt, arms and legs.  So I walked him into the bathroom and had him look in the mirror.
"Isaiah-a lie is when you don't tell me what really happened.  So I need you to tell me again, did you open up the chocolate syrup bottle?"  Isaiah just smiled and said "Yes"

We go through this all the time with him and his sister.  Sometimes I know the answer and I am looking for them to tell me the truth.  Other times I don't know what really is the truth, so I don't know what to think.  Most of the time they pull this "she did it" "no I didn't he did it."  So what to do.

Children lie.  Some more than others.  When the are young they are still learning the difference between their world and the imaginary world they create.  Also at four years old kids are learning what guilt is.  Guilt is something that as it develops kids learn the difference between right and wrong.  They start developing a conscience.

I remember when my 10 year was about 6 or 7.  He was going to a VBS and he stoled a little toy plane.  He came to me that night and confessed that he had done this and was tormented.  To this day he still brings this event up in his life.  He knew he had done something wrong.  He doesn't still always tell the truth, but it doesn't normally take long for the truth to come out.  But some of my other kids, telling the truth is not always as easy.

Some kids miss these steps in their development.  Many kids that come from broken homes, on the streets or foster care- they miss huge developmental stages early on and since these stages are like building blocks when one is missed it is hard for kids.  Sometimes this leads to serve cases of Attachment Disorders.  Other times it just takes years of consistency of filling in those missing building blocks.

We tell all our kids that lying is not ok.  When you lie to us we lose trust in them and it is not always easy to gain back.  But for a younger child it is not about trust, but more on our part about training.  We are training our kids to teach them right from wrong.

What are ways you teach your kids your kids not to lie?

For the Love of a Child

I wonder if children know now much their parents love them.  I wonder if children know what we parents will do to protect their kids.  I wonder if children get it.
When I found out I was pregnant with Robby, I immediately went into protection mode.  And Dan did too.  You know the not climbing on chairs, going white water rafting, going on roller coaster...well you get the picture.  When Robby was born we protected him by supporting his neck, made sure he slept on his back and burped him so his belly didn't hurt.  I remember when we first got Isaiah.  He was 3 months old and he was a mess.  He had yeast infections on his neck or lack of and bacterial infections with in the yeast infection.  He was stiff and cried a lot.    He had acid reflex and we would need towels when we feed him.  We did everything to get him better and at that time he was our foster child, but he was ours.  We sometimes forget how much we did, cause today he is healthy and happy.
When our oldest was having some issues at school, we did what we needed to get him back on track.
When you love a child, you go to the end of the earth and beyond to protect that child.
It makes me sad to think of the children whose parents don't protect their child.  My list could go on and the children I have seen in foster care, it is sad.  And you just want to scream at them and say "Why?" "Why are you not protecting this child of yours?"  And some just can't protect them.  They just don't know how.
And I think of parents sitting in the NICU or PICU watching their tiny babies or 13 year old sons, wondering how do I protect you?  And sometimes there is nothing you can do but hold their hand.  And sometimes not even that.  But for the love of a child parents will sit endless hours, waiting for the glimpse of healing.
And when children dabble in areas that can be harmful, drugs, sex, violence, crime, parents take action-to do the things they need to do to protect their child regardless of what that child has to say.  

And sometimes everything a parent does doesn't everything in the world to protect their child and bad things still happen.

I think of our heavenly Father.  What He does for the Love of a Child.  He sent His only Son for the love of a child.  For the Love of His children, he sent his One and only Son.  That is the best example of what parents do for the love of a child.

For the Love of a Child, what will you do?